How far is too far? Part 2...

I wrote this anonymous blog because I don’t feel there is a safe forum for parents to question or criticize the practice of dance schools.  I feel that any criticism I make might well have resulting negative effects on my studio or my child.  I have no intention of revealing my identity because I do not want my view to be in any represented as that of my studio, nor do I wish to receive any backlash from the parents or teachers at my dance studio (whom I include in some of my criticism).  But if my identity eventually becomes known I will not shy away from anything I’ve said. 

My comments on the particular routine which caused controversy mid Saturday are based on photos of the costumes (published on a public website by the studio in question), by all three adjudicator’s comments (published on a public website by the studio in question) and by comments made in conversations with people who were in the audience that day.  I admitted that I had not seen the actual dance for clarify, but still commented because that wasn’t relevant to the point I was making.

I think if you re-read my post you will realize that I’m actually saying that this particular costume appears to me to be relatively mild.  The comment on the choreography, for which I use the words ‘a little saucy’, suggests I’m saying it too, was relatively mild (which is not, apparently, how the judges’ saw it, nor some of the parents I heard talking about it).  From what I've seen I personally think it is too mature a look for a group of 12 year olds, but it’s not the worst out there by any stretch.  I think it’s worth making the point that even a very chaste costume can be made to be more adult by combining it with suggestive choreography.  Was this done in this case?  I don’t know, I didn’t see it.  The judges seemed to think so but then, as I speculated before, perhaps they just overreacted on this particular dance as a culmination of everything they had seen up to that point.

I also did not say that that particular routine included inappropriate lyrics, grinding or crotch grabbing, firstly because I didn’t see it, and secondly because those comments related to a different part of my post.

Do I think from what I’ve seen that this routine was the most age inappropriate routine of the weekend?  Absolutely not.

Do I think that this particular dance school’s other routines sometimes stray into what I consider to be age inappropriate choreography or costuming? Yes I do.

Are other schools guilty (in my view) of inappropriate costuming or choreography now or in the past? Definitely.

Do they do this on purpose – to shock, or to somehow corrupt their children?  No, I really don’t think so.  I think the kids are dancing with such advanced skills that we are choreographing to those skills and forgetting that they are still young children.  And in doing so we are changing our perceptions about what is normal for these children, and gradually the bar on what is acceptable rises.  Personally, I’d like that trend to stop and hopefully reverse it.

Is this can of worms that Cameron Mitchell opened on Saturday worthy of discussion?  Absolutely!  There is no doubt in my mind that I am not a lone voice, but I also believe that it is very difficult to speak up against such trends without being quickly dismissed or ridiculed.

Who should judge what is age appropriate?  Every single one of us, of course.  And of course our views will vary.  But in your reply you yourself have made that exact judgment about two other routines you have seen – probably readily identifiable by the studios or parents involved in those routines.  Do you believe they did that on purpose?  I mean, did they put something on the stage that you consider to be so obviously age inappropriate, knowing themselves that it was inappropriate?  Probably not.  They obviously hadn’t looked at it through your outside eyes.

If you had given them honest feedback, would they have taken the opportunity to examine themselves, think again, maybe at least consider altering the situation?  Or would they have dismissed the comments as ridiculous and uneducated.  I’d like to think they’d take your feedback on board, but I guess we’ll never know.

Three independent judges made those comments on Saturday.  Three judges with considerable experience in the dance world and paid to provide a judgment.  Regardless of whether you agree with them or not, surely they were owed the courtesy of at least considering whether – with outside eyes – there may be any substance whatsoever in their views?  The reaction from this studio was (and continues to be) extremely defensive and dismissive, and I think publishing, criticizing and ridiculing the judges’ comments (for days!) was far closer to slander than anything I’ve written in my humble blog.

I don’t think I’ve said anything that is either malicious or extreme, nor anything that doesn’t reflect the views of at least a significant minority of the dance community (I think it’s more than a minority but I won’t pretend to speak for everyone).

Referring to comments made elsewhere (not by you) - while I agree to some extent that having your child in a particular dance school suggests that you are happy with that dance school’s choices has merit but doesn’t quite hold.  We choose dance schools for a myriad of reasons from location to friendships to quality tuition and many more.  We have a lot invested and it is impossible to pull out of a routine of 30 kids at the last minute because you want to object to the choreography or the costume.  In fact we usually don’t see the choreography or costumes until they are well advanced in their design, and to be fair to studio directors, you can’t possibly run a dance school with a committee of parents commenting on every creative decision of the studio.  I think we have to trust that the people into whose care we entrust our children – schools and after school activities alike – will act responsibly, will look after the children's best interests and will be accountable if they do not.  But  I do not feel there is any accountability or even any voice for parents to object if we feel those standards are lapsing within the world of children’s dance.

Actually, I’ve often thought it would be wonderful if dance schools did anonymous feedback surveys now and then to ask their parents what they like/don’t like/could improve about their schools – and ask them whether they are happy with things like costuming.  I fill in forms like that when I go to the bank or the dentist or a hotel – I’ve never heard of a dance school seeking that kind of feedback but perhaps it would be educational if they did.

My question to those studios who push the limits is this – what value does it  add?  Can’t you be innovative, creative, challenging and spectacular without having to resort to small costumes and adult choreography?  I’d say, absolutely you can.  There are many examples of fantastic group routines from all ages that would meet anyone’s definition of modesty.  I’d like to see more of them.

I also absolutely know that there are some parents who have taken their children out of this dancing world, or have hesitated to join it, because of this very issue.  What a shame that those kids miss out on all this fun, and that the dance world potentially misses out on their talent, just because we can’t create a more welcoming environment for a slightly more conservative audience.

By the way, fanny flasher is a term I first heard from a cranky dancing dad about 3 years ago, I thought it was very representative and have used it often since.  I’ve heard it used by others.   I was not sitting behind you.

One commentator referred to the recent debate as hysteria.  That’s surely not referring to this blog because I don’t feel there has been any hysteria from me.  I’m trying to calmly argue a point of view.   It seems to me the hysteria is coming from those who are on the defensive, and it wasn’t even to those people that the majority of my comment was directed – but they are largely the ones who got this debate going.  It feels like I might have hit a nerve.  Surely if the judges’ comments had no merit, it would have been a more graceful approach to ignore them (or lodge protest with the eisteddfod organiser if they felt it was warranted).  Not to malign and ridicule them and anyone who agrees with them.

And finally, no, not a journalist or writer, although I appreciate the complement.  Just a mum who was trying to make people see things from another side.  Trying to highlight that not everyone is happy with the state of play.  Trying to support judges like Cameron Mitchell and his colleagues, who dare to comment on this issue and who, as far as I can tell, have remained silent despite being so publicly ridiculed for their views.  Trying to argue that the world of children’s dance should be about the children first, then the dance – that we choreograph to their age, and then incorporate their skills.

I didn’t ask for this topic to be raised, but now that it has been I've chosen to speak, and I certainly don't regret that.

How far is too far?

I was at the Australian Dance Challenge on the weekend. What a showcase of amazing talent, from little toddlers to young adults. The art of dance has come so far since I was a dance student in the 70s, and in fact it has come so far in the last 5 or so years since my own daughter has been involved in competition dancing. The standard is so high that I wonder just how far it can keep going. 8 year olds are doing complicated steps, acrobatics and choreography that was only being done by teenagers just a few years ago, and not at all a few years before that. These kids are achieving so much so young – every bit as good technically as some of the adult competitors on SYTYCD, or professional performers in the theatre circuit - it is simply amazing.

But even though they dance beyond their years, they are not grown ups. And as much as I am enthralled by the skill, for the last year or two I’ve been struggling to come to terms with the rapid sexualisation of our children in the arena of dance. Some routines are so adult in their orientation that I squirm in my seat and look away in embarrassment.

Costumes are getting ever smaller – nothing is left to the imagination. Knickers are so little that within a few seconds of the routine starting, the kids all have wedgies and we are treated to a revealing butt show, along with the bare midriffs and teeny tiny tops. The hair and makeup is looking more and more like the American pageant queens on Toddlers and Tiaras that most of us scorn. The music choices are inappropriate – with lyrics that I certainly hope the children don’t understand. The moves are suggestive and raunchy - grinding and gyrating, crotch grabbing, or the long held offside 'fanny flasher' mount which has me wondering where to look. Surely we can celebrate all this talent without turning our little girls into hookers and our little boys into leering gropers?

I don’t suggest the kids understand what they are doing – but they have been taught to move this way. We are normalising things that aren’t normal for young children, and along with the teachers, many parents seem immune to it, justifying it, encouraging it.  The barriers are being stretched so quickly…where will it stop? When will a troupe of 12 years appear on the stage with a pole for a prop, and begin gyrating, while someone stuffs dollar bills in their garters. Surely not, you say. No, you are right, surely not – I reckon it will be the 10 year olds!

Sadly any criticism is quickly dismissed as prudishness or a lack of understanding and appreciation of the art. Or as jealousy or sour grapes.  Judge Cameron Mitchell commented after the very first section of the comp that the costumes were perhaps too revealing, suggesting further that perhaps footless tights might be a nice option given that the judges were being offered a feast of crotches with very little consideration to modesty. The audience largely cheered, happy he said it out loud. But this sent off a flurry of derision – the judge is prudish and old fashioned – get with the times Cameron! Footless tights are from the 70s for goodness sake! The parents are just sheep for clapping your comments!

The flurry of controversy continued later in the day when one studio’s routine was critiqued by all three judges as being, perhaps, too sexy for the 12 year old age group. The leotards for the girls were, in retrospect, relatively tame…although they were skin-tight, black wetlook lycra and teamed with sophisticated hair and make up. The boys were shirtless (12 year old boys are lovely, honestly, but I don’t think they have chests that look particularly attractive bared on stage – a shirt works wonders). And the routine was apparently a little saucy (I’ll confess I didn’t see it). Now maybe this wasn’t the worst routine of the weekend in terms of pushing barriers, but maybe the judges just reached a point where they felt comment was warranted. The studio in question objected loudly, publicly, widely. But before dismissing the judges opinions completely, wasn’t it worth thinking for a moment about whether the comments had any merit?

The usual defence from those who dismiss criticism is that the costumes are no worse than bikinis worn at the beach. Well maybe so (although I wouldn’t agree to let my own child wear so brief a bikini on a public beach as some of these costumes). But the argument is ridiculous in my view - when they are at the beach they aren’t wearing Jon Bonet style makeup and hair, or gyrating on a stage.

I'm not suggesting they need to be covered top to toe. I'm not a religious conservative, or a moral campaigner. - I'm willing to go along with a bare midriff or long bare legs.  .  But boyleg shorts or a modesty skirt go a long way in preserving dignity!

What exactly are we hoping for our children’s future – Broadway, or Moulin Rouge? The Australian Ballet, or a cruise ship cabaret? Sydney Dance Company or a Kings Cross titty peepshow?

Many of us parents are in a bind. We don’t control the costumes chosen for these troupe competitions. Our kids work hard, gain widespread benefit from being involved in healthy competition, love the environment, the art, the friendships, the showmanship. It’s difficult to protest with the studio when you bring home your costume a few days before the comp, unwrap it, and realise you aren’t keen to see your child gyrate on stage in it. We certainly don’t want to punish our kids for something out of their control. So we quietly go along – we don’t rock the boat – it’s a bold move to change studios over an issue like this, and after all, the studio you go to might well do the same. So you reluctantly go along. When Cameron said out loud what many of us whisper to each other in the hallways, carparks and changerooms, many parents breathed a sigh of relief and/or clapped out loud – here was a member of officialdom pushing back on the trend – at last!

I find it hard to believe that we can’t stretch these kids into more difficult routines without moving them into older mentality as well. So many obviously creative studios – can’t we be creative within the confines of being reasonably covered, and dancing to songs that don’t talk directly about sex?

Few studios are completely immune from criticism, but some push the envelope way too far too often. And parents caught up in the moment sitting in the audience cheering every time the kids shimmy or thrust aren’t helping the situation. (And let me assure you, when you do that, a huge chunk of the parents are quietly cringing and silently urging you to shut up – even those from your own studio!).

This trend can be halted if parents start to push back without fear of critcism and accusations of prudishness or envy. If adjudicators take age appropriateness into account when judging routines. If studios listen to feedback and – instead of becoming defensive - ask themselves whether they might, in fact, have gone a bit too far in their enthusiasm. I'm putting the challenge out to studio directors - I'm positive you can achieve an equally impressive show of talent without using skimpy costumes or raunchy moves.  Any maybe you widen the circle of potential talent as those from more conservative backgrounds feel more comfortable in this environment.

Please - let’s celebrate all that skill in an equally creative but age appropriate way, and let them be children for just a little bit longer.