A Weighty Issue

I’ve been around a number of conversations lately where the appropriate weight for child dancers has been discussed.  There seems to be two points of view – those who express concern that children with very slight builds and very visible abs (abdominal muscles) are dangerously underweight, and those that say these children are happy and healthy and simply very fit.  In the middle of a child obesity epidemic it seems ridiculous to be worrying about the health of young, fit and clearly not overweight children – but there are also definitely risks associated with being too thin.

So I spent some time reflecting on my own experiences as a dance student in the 70s, my daughter’s more recent experiences, and those of some of her classmates.  And I spent some time on research on the web, looking at medical research studies on the links between and causes of underweight, depression, body image, eating disorders and dance.  And there is no shortage of credible information out there if you want to look, not to mention many blogs and articles from ex-dancers or current dancers about their own personal experiences.

If you look at any individual child, it’s very hard to determine just by looking at them if they are, in fact, underweight.  To some extent our body shape is determined by genetics and chance – some kids (and adults), even those that don’t do much exercise at all, seem to be able to eat plenty of food but stay pencil thin.  These people are not then nutritionally compromised – thin is normal for them.

However, this healthy but genetically driven thin is not common.  So when there are many children all in the same place who seem very thin, it does make critical thinkers wonder if this is a weird co-incidence or a cause for concern.  When all those thin children are involved in dance, then those critical thinkers who are aware of the statistics on eating disorders and mental illness in the world of dance might raise their concerns higher.

For at least decades it has been acknowledged that certain professions have higher than normal prevalence of eating disorders and related mental health disorders (mostly anxiety and/or depression) – dancers, models and jockeys are three of the most commonly cited.  And there are many reasons for this.  First, both eating and anxiety disorders are highly correlated with perfectionist personalities – high performing competitive dancers are often, by nature, perfectionist.  Second, dancers, models and jockeys all gain advantage in their careers by being thin – in the case of dancing low weight makes it easier to perform many dance moves and facilitates lifts and acrobatics, so there is an incentive to stay lean.  Third, professional dancers (and models and jockeys) are always thin - thinness is desirable and rewarded, so a culture of being and staying thin is widespread.

Then, unlike any other sport I can think of, dancing provides ample opportunity to be self critical.  Dancers spend hundreds of hours dressed in body hugging (and sometimes very small and unforgiving) studio uniforms, in front of mirrors, watching themselves and their classmates in detail in mirrors.  Dancers have ample opportunity to view every lump and bump and analyse every wrinkle and wobble as they move, and they can constantly compare themselves to their classmates.  Furthermore, the current generation of children and teenagers are the most photographed in history, and those photos are often shared with the world through social media for comment (and judgment – it’s important to collect as many ‘likes’ and positive comments as you can).  This provides plenty of incentive for an already competitive child to compete with their classmates on numerous facets - flexibility, thinness, visibility of abs or many other measures positive and otherwise.

Children who do not participate (or are unsuccessful) in this unspoken competition are often ostracized by their peers in class – and teachers would often be oblivious to this quiet torment.  Even children of perfectly normal weight begin to feel fat amongst their peers, and are subject to both real and perceived criticisms from classmates about wobbly tummies, developing breasts or costumes that don’t fit (and many of these costumes are clearly not designed for children or teens with a belly, hips or breasts).  I’ve known children to drop out of dance because of this pressure alone (even at very young ages).  And overweight children – who would probably benefit from being involved in dance – feel very unwelcome and intimidated in this environment, regardless of their dance abilities.

It has been argued that dancers are at higher risk of eating disorders because controlling eating is the most practical way to maintain thinness.  Generally speaking, dancing is actually not very aerobic.  Quite often it is an anaerobic art, focused on muscle strength and flexibility rather than cardiovascular fitness, so the average dance class doesn’t burn nearly as many calories as many other sports.  Many hours spent in dance classes leaves little time for any other exercise so diet is the main way to control weight.

Most medical sources quote normal body fat percentage for a normally fit woman to be between 21-24%, and for an athletic woman to be 14-20%.  Essential fat – subsistence level – is 10-13%.  These figures are for adult women – adult men have lower normal body fat percentages.  For children the appropriate level of body fat is a little higher (age dependent) because children need additional fat resources for growth and development – often this is held around waist and is lovingly referred to as ‘puppy fat’ – it’s normal, it is not an indicator of overweight.  For a 12 year old girl normal body fat percentage might range up to 29%, with body fat below 16% considered underweight.  Measuring body fat is not simple – BMI is often used as a proxy but will overestimate body fat in a muscular person.  Various formulae exist and are easy to find online.

Lots of fit children from many different sports will have well developed abs, but you won’t necessarily see them.  Visible abs are a clear sign of both abdominal muscle strength and very low body fat percentage.  Body builders who want to show ripped abs are advised one thing – reduce body fat percentage.  Competitive bodybuilders dramatically and temporarily reduce body fat just before a competition in order to make the abs as obvious as possible.  It is said that an adult woman needs to have a body fat percentage of 15-17% (8-10% for men) to be able to see abs clearly – and many in the medical community advise women against pursuing this goal as abdominal body fat is important to women’s physiology (obviously competitive female bodybuilders are prepared to do it nonetheless).  I’m not sure what body fat percentage is required to make abs visible on children, but if it is the same at 15-17%, and if body fat % under 16 is considered underweight in children, it doesn’t take a genius to conclude that children with very visible abs are quite possibly underweight.  And this at a critical time of growth and development, and for no clear positive purpose that I can identify.

How could very low weight children (or adults) perform everything they can if they weren’t, in fact, healthy?  Well, a body in starvation mode makes the best use of the energy resources it gets to fulfill the energy requirements of that body – and it withholds nutrition from other body functions in order to do so – creating long term physiological consequences.  There are plenty of examples of professional dancers suffering eating disorders leading to their early death or to their long term poor health, yet maintaining professional dance careers along the way.  So clearly the fact that a child is a high performer in a physical activity doesn’t stop them from being at risk.

Not all underweight children will go on to have long term health problems as adults.  Not all underweight children suffer from – or go on to suffer from - eating disorders or mental illnesses.  But a significant percentage do – a much much higher percentage than the general population.  With ample statistics showing the increased risk, and known risk factors that are difficult to modify, how do we control the risk?  I’m not sure – no-one seems to have figured that out although we’ve known about the problem for decades.

However, I feel sure that the constant praise of extreme thinness, and encouragement to achieve thinness (if for no other reason than to show off one’s abs), in an environment which is extremely competitive, in a world that increasingly values thin, cannot be a good combination for the long term health of children in the dancing community, at least statistically speaking.   And I don’t think anyone should be criticized for raising this long acknowledged issue (although I appreciate that the criticism is not always eloquently expressed).

One thing I do wonder is why parents or teachers are often so confident that they can detect who is at risk and who is not.  Criticism is quickly dismissed as jealousy and followed by a reassurance that the kids are happy and healthy and that their parents would clearly know if there was a problem.  My experience with a few anorexics and bulimics that I have known is that they are very good at hiding their disordered eating habits from the people around them.  So while defensive responses are understandable, it wouldn’t hurt anyone – and may benefit some - to learn more about the risks, focus your praise on achievements rather than body shape, maintain an open dialogue about the subject with your kids, and re-evaluate the situation constantly.

Here’s a few links to get you started:

http://dancerseatingdisorders.wordpress.com/2011/05/09/fueling-the-fire-ballerinas-depression-and-eating-disorders/

http://www.guardian.co.uk/stage/theatreblog/2008/may/05/russianballetweight

http://www.lifewithcakeblog.blogspot.com/2010/12/nyc-ballet-dancer-criticized-for-being.html

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16211632

http://content.karger.com/ProdukteDB/produkte.asp?Aktion=ShowAbstractBuch&ArtikelNr=284997&ProduktNr=253424

http://ntur.lib.ntu.edu.tw/bitstream/246246/155916/1/44.pdf

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18729131

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15581653

http://www.tanita.co.uk/fileadmin/redaktion/_temp/body-fate-range-chart.jpg

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_fat_percentage

Stage Parents - Are You One?

Have you ever met a stage parent?  The parent who goes to extremes to push or promote or manage their child, and who seems to see a talent or skill or beauty in their child that they truly believe is greater than the other children around them?  A parent who believes their child is just waiting to be discovered, and will be if only they are at the right school, in the front line, in the best costume, with the best routine, doing the most classes and the most practice.  And a child who is in possession of the most medals/trophies/awards which validates their belief in their child’s unique skills.

If you are in the dancing world, I’m sure you have met a stage parent.  You probably have some at your studio.  You can probably think of a few off the top of your head.  But would you know if you were one?  Do stage parents recognise their own behaviour for what it is?

We all want the best for our kids.  We all want them to have happy healthy lives, to have success, to do better in life than the generations that went before.

But in pursuing these dreams for our kids, are we acting in their best interests?  What exactly is the goal?  How do we know if we’ve gone too far?

The thing is, kids want nothing more in life than to please their parents.  Absolutely nothing makes a child happier than to think they have made their parents proud or happy.  Or more basically, that they have earned their parents’ acceptance and approval.  Children will pursue that as a main goal.  At the end of the day, the activity that achieves the pride or approval isn’t really relevant, as long as the goal has been achieved.  This is true in pretty much any endeavour – child prodigies in every field from tennis to swimming to gymnastics have time and again told stories of miserable childhoods spent trying to please their parents through their achievements, and always falling short, needing to do more.  It’s not enough to win the school race, then there’s the district, and the state, and the nationals, and the world championships, and the Olympics.  Always another step to go to achieve parental pride.  Stage parents in the dancing field are exactly the same.

Consider this – if your child does well at a competition, and you congratulate them and make a fuss, are they happy because they know they have achieved a personal best?  Because they achieved self fulfilment?  Or are they happy because they can see that you are happy? 

What if they fall short of expectations?  Muck it up and forget the routine, forget to point, forget to smile, and then miss out on a place.  Do you show your frustration?  Your disapproval?  Your disappointment?  Do you look for outside sources of blame - the judges didn't know what they were doing, were random, must have been blind.  Is your child allowed to simply fail without failing you and your hopes and expectations?

Is it possible you are misreading their motivations to do the next competition or the extra class?  Is it because they want to do it, or because they feel it will make you happy - that if they just try a little harder you will be pleased with them?

I’ve been reading online about signs of stage parents, and found some interesting behaviours that perhaps you’ll recognise in others, or scarily within yourself.

-          Stage parents go out of their way to build a relationship with the teacher or coach, or other influential people within the studio, in the sometimes unconscious hope that cultivating these personal relationships helps build favour for the child.

-          Stage parents probably tend to inflate their own importance to the studio, and get annoyed when their child doesn’t seem to receive appropriate special treatment - is just treated like ‘one of the many’.

-          Stage parents become involved in their child’s tuition or coaching – questioning the teacher, the position in the routine, the costumes, the progression to the next class.  They regularly seek new teachers or studios, perhaps with the hope they might finally find a teacher who recognises their child’s true talent.  Interestingly, while they initially invest much time in praising the child’s teacher, if goals are not achieved when expected, the stage parent will start to criticise the teacher to others, and eventually seek out a new one.

-          Stage parents often become coaches themselves (regardless of their lack of qualification).  They will critique a performance (often finding fault), decide their own child’s strengths and weaknesses, enforce stretching or practice sessions, take them to dance events/concerts so they can understand the goal set for them if they only work hard enough.  They manage their child’s ‘career’ in all aspects.

-          Stage parents encourage, reward or admire children for performing even if it isn’t in their best interest to do so – when sick, injured, overtired or burnt out.

-          Stage parents allow and encourage children to miss other activities – school events, (or simply school!), birthday parties, playdates, important family events, to ensure they don’t miss class or a competition.  Really, how far backwards can they fall by missing a few classes a term, compared to the social rounding they receive by maintaining and building relationships, and being exposed to experiences, outside of the world of dance?

-          Stage parents ignore requests from the child to try other activities or pursuits, or to take a break.  If the child is burnt out, it might be better to let them take a term off.  They will either resist going back (in which case they probably are never going to be successful in dance as a career, and forcing them into it will just build resentment), or they will miss it terribly and beg to go back!

-          Stage parents often start very early.  They will profess how much their child loves to dance – indeed was born to dance - to the exclusion of any other activity, despite never really having tried any others.  How can a child of 4 or 5 (or even 10 or 11) ‘choose’ a career in dance, commit to a dozen or more hours of dance a week, when they’ve never seriously tried any other activity?  It’s important that children be exposed to lots of life experiences before they commit to a single one.

-          Stage parents are often people who have been disappointed with their own progress in life. Often they pursued the activity (in this case dance) as a child and didn’t achieve as many goals as they wanted (or their own parents wanted), or they wished they could have done the activity and weren’t allowed to.  This frustration in their own lack of achievement or experience is then to be resolved by enjoying their child’s achievements.

Do you think stage parents recognise themselves as such?  I think they hardly ever do.  Are they bad parents?  Not intentionally, of course not, but I doubt they do their children much long term good.  What happens if the child ultimately doesn’t achieve their parent’s dreams for them?  Those children may spend a lifetime feeling that they’ve somehow failed or fallen short, that they haven’t earned that much-craved-after parental approval, and they may go on to become stage parents to their own children.

Truly successful people, those who achieve sustained success in any field, are successful because they are drawn to the activity in question and pursue it freely, without prompting or pressure, without promotion or because their parent has sucked up to the teacher.  They do it not to please other people, but to please themselves.  They don't need to be reminded to practice.  They set and achieve their own goals – not those arbitrarily set by others.  They find satisfaction in their own achievements, not in the acceptance of their parents when they bring home a trophy.

I think it’s a worthwhile exercise to test yourself – are you a stage parent?  Does your child truly want to be involved in dance or are they doing it to please you?   Even if they truly love dance, would they be just as happy doing a fun class a few times a week, or do they really want to be in the ‘best’ school and doing group and solo competitions most weekends?

Do they obtain their self worth through achieving goals you have set for them, rather than by achieving goals they have set for themselves?  It’s no good asking them, they won’t necessarily admit it, or even recognise it in themselves - children are by definition not emotionally mature, they lack insight.  But think about your own motivations.  If your child announced tomorrow that they wanted to drop it all and take up karate or ten pin bowling, how would you react?  What would you say?  What would you do?  Would you be disappointed? And most importantly of all, would your child detect that disappointment?

A worthwhile set of questions for us all, I think.

Concert Costumes...always a hot topic!

OK, since my last post I’ve changed my mind.  I would much rather be responsible for dressing my own child than being presented with some of the costumes I’ve seen come out of concert season this year.

Of course, it’s no guarantee that my child won’t be asked to dance to inappropriate lyrics with inappropriate moves, but at least she will be dressed appropriate to her age.

Like my very first post that prompted creation of this blog, I ask myself – ‘what were they thinking!?!’

I know it’s not just me…there are other parents who aren’t happy.  I know one parent who was shocked about her daughter’s costume given to her a couple of days before the event, and had discussions with other shocked parents outside the studios, but felt intimidated about how to approach the dance teacher with her concerns.  Too late to change the costumes, unwilling to punish her daughter by pulling her out of the dance, reluctant to be seen as the ‘difficult’ parent.  It’s not an easy situation, and I’ve seen it play out similarly several times over.

The kids aren’t necessarily happy either.  I know kids who have been mortified seeing the costumes they have been given to wear.  But again, they are powerless to complain.  Kids, and especially young teenagers, are desperate to fit in and will usually just go with the flow – they certainly are not going to question the adults who are teaching and dressing them.

Of course, plenty of parents and kids do seem happy – proudly posting and re-posting photos on Facebook of their children or themselves seriously underdressed, in revealing poses.  ‘How can that possibly be?’  I ask myself.  Have they just become immune?  Can’t they see it for what it is?  And these same children then take their lessons to school, pulling up their skirts and flashing their sexy lacy bra-lets from under their white school shirts.  Well, after all, once you been on stage in front of hundreds of adults in a teeny tiny spangled bra and low cut knickers (which surely required a bikini-wax before wearing), and danced with a seductive pout and a shaking of your booty – to the cheering and positive reinforcement of the crowd - it all becomes normal, even desirable.

And that influences how you dress for a birthday party.  Or to go shopping.  Or to go to school.  I have definitely observed at social functions that those of my daughter’s friends who dance are more likely than their netball or soccer playing friends to wear high heels, low cut tops, short skirts.  I hypothesise they are taking on board the encouragement they get to be ‘sexy’ well before their time, and their parents are not discouraging them.

I repeat from my first post – I’m not a prude.  I’m not a religious conservative.  I’m not picking on any one dance school.  I’m just a shocked parent who feels powerless.  I absolutely know I’m not alone.  I know discussions are being held in dressing rooms, in waiting rooms, in corridors and on Facebook.  But clearly not many of us feel comfortable bringing up the subject with our dance schools.

I can only hope to raise the topic for discussion, and perhaps prompt a costume designer here or there to reconsider, review and maybe, revise.  And if my child were asked to wear something I felt had crossed the line, I think I would now speak up - writing this blog has made me braver.  If you are a concerned parent, I hope reading it might make you braver too.

Concert Season - aaargh!

I don’t know many dance world mum’s who relish concert season.   It is stress with a capital S!  Most of all, it is a huge time commitment and takes over the scheduling for the whole family for weeks beforehand.

First up – so many extra rehearsals!  My child would love to spend all her days at the dance school but there’s so much else going on.  This is the season when school projects get finalised, tests and exams need to be sat, formals and special assemblies occur, sports finals are on, as well as many end of year celebrations, school spectaculars, etc etc etc.  Not to mention trying to balance the needs of other children in the family who might undertake different activities.

It is so hard fitting everything in and there is so little flexibility if you have to miss a dance rehearsal.  At least from my child, who feels the pressure not to miss any rehearsals, in case she misses some choreography or gets moved to the back line.  I do understand commitment, but is it fair to pressure children to miss important school and life milestones, to fail to support their siblings’ endeavours, or to wear themselves out to a near nervous breakdown?

The commitment is especially difficult for working parents, who usually have lots of end of year commitments at work too.  How can we be in several places at once?

What to do about this?  I have no idea.  Some schools hold their major concerts at times other than end of year – that sounds very attractive, and yet somehow doesn’t feel right…!?

And another thing - I hate organising ‘do it yourself costumes’.  I just don’t have time and they end up costing me so much more than if I could just pay an account.  I never seem to buy what the dance teacher (or my child) has envisioned.  And my child usually can’t come on the shopping expeditions to try things on because she’s in rehearsals!  Gosh  I dread getting those notes!

So, is it worth it?  Well, I know I’ll think so when the concert is on – that’s what keeps me going!  I’ll be watching my child, proud as punch and relishing her joy.  I’ll be admiring the army of helpers who I know have contributed to the fantastic show.  I’ll be overwhelmed with gratitude for the hardworking teachers who have no doubt, just like me, had little sleep leading up to the night, just so that my child and her friends will have the best possible experience.  And I’ll be back next year.  So I guess – yes – it’s worth it!

Choreography Cringers

Like many other dance parents, this dance mum has spent many hours in dusty school halls, RSL clubs and large auditoriums watching kids’ competition dance.

Why do I think I’m qualified to comment on choreography?  It’s like wine – I can’t report on the vintage, the grape or the bouquet, but I know what I like.  So my comments come from the view of a dance mum watching troupes dance for hours at a time over quite a few years.  I’m not a dancer, a teacher or a choreographer, but I know that these are three separate and very difficult skills.  Unfortunately poor choreography ruins many a talented dance group. 

I’m going to point out here (since the hoo haa of my last blog) that I’m not picking on any one dance school – I’ve seen lots of bad or tedious routines from a variety of dance schools.  And while I appreciate that choreography is an art, subject to personal preference, I think there are some elements that are just universally bad.

So here is a list of the choreography elements that make me cringe or yawn the most.  Of course, you’re free to disagree…I’d love to hear your thoughts.

1.       Not doing anything

You know, at the beginning of the routine, where everyone’s on stage and the music is 8 or 16 counts in, and everyone starts to wonder if it’s the wrong music?  Or worse still, when there is a change to a new position but we have eight counts left till the next verse, so we just stand and bounce.  In my view, good routines have no dead space…fill every second with entertainment of some type, please!

2.       Not changing positions

Usually in this scenario the kids are in lines across the stage, all doing the same thing, for most of the dance.  It’s really dull – you feel like calling out from the stands “MOVE for goodness sake!”   And let those kids in the back corner come out at least long enough to catch the photographer’s lens!

3.       Time to move!

Almost worse than not moving is doing the obvious ‘time to move!’, when we take a break for 8 counts, put our hands behind our back, crouch down and scutter to the ‘V’…or the circle…or the vertical lines.  We dance there for a bit and then – ‘time to move!’.   It’s almost like a party game.  It’s so much nicer when position changes are actually incorporated and have purpose.

4.       The mismatched song/costume/choreography

All elements should work together.  Sometimes there is a very strong costume theme (maybe ‘pirates’ or ‘cavemen’) and it seems to have nothing to do with the song, so I find myself spending the whole 3 minutes trying to figure out the connection!  There doesn’t always have to be a theme, but if there is, commit to it!

5.        The dodgy back line

I think the back line is the defining mark of a good group routine.  This is where everyone on stage is committed, knows the routine and is capable of performing it.  It’s all very well to have your stars up front dazzling us with the complex moves and difficult tricks, but I’m often watching the back line – usually because I’ve been distracted to look that way by the kid in the corner who seems to have missed a lot of rehearsals, looks bored, or is the only one who can’t do a double turn.  Make sure everyone on stage knows they are always being watched, and make sure every kid on stage has something to do that they can do well.  (And I don’t mean ‘take out the weaker dancers’ – they should be there, just give them something to do they can manage, and make sure they are committed!)

6.       Too much flipping

As someone who barely managed a bad cartwheel, I do admire acrobatic skills – really I do.  But some routines feel like gymnastics floor routines gone crazy.  This is a dance competition, not a gymnastics one – show me some dancing!  Acro used as a dance element – engaging.  Acro used as a time filler - annoying.

(Sometimes competitions have acro sections, but they never seem to have much acro in them – they always seem to be full of contortionists, which is impressive in itself, but not acro.  Go figure!).

7.        The corner to corner simple canon

Everyone loves a good, complex, energetic canon.  What I’m talking about here is when there are 8 kids in a line from corner to corner doing one simple move each.  Often we get to the end and they reverse order and do one simple move back the other way.  It’s like the choreographer ran out of inspiration or time and just needed to fill up 16 or 32 counts.  By the third person we can predict what’s happening with the rest of the line, and gee it feels like a long time to wait while they do it…

8.       Patterns that aren’t quite patterns

Audience members can count.  Even with a fairly large troupe, when you have patterns we can see if the pattern doesn’t make sense.  Sometimes this occurs with costume choices – where there are 16 of the same costume with two of each colour, except there are three yellows and only one blue.  I spend the whole three minutes counting kids and wondering why it’s like that.  Or when you have 16 kids and put them in three vertical lines of five kids – and the one near the curtain has the extra kid (surely put the remaining kid in the middle line???).  I’m not obsessive compulsive, but these things drive me nuts!

9.       Kids who go missing

This is really obvious in smaller troupes, or where everyone is wearing a different costume - sometimes kids go missing for large parts of the routine.  I know the troupe is sometimes split to show off the advanced talents of the few that the many can’t do, to show light and shade and change things around, or to fulfil a particular pattern – I’m cool with that.  I’m talking about the dance progressing as normal, but you notice the kid in the red wig has left the stage, and then lo, they run on from the side to join in again a minute later.  I presume they were away for Saturday rehearsal when the troupe learned that bit, but it’s very distracting.

10.    Kids with cameos

I’m talking here about the 5 year old who comes on stage for 15 seconds to perform in a 14/u troupe routine, apparently to manipulate the average age of the troupe.  If the kid isn’t doing much or isn’t acting as a ‘prop’ for a storyline, then leave them out of it and move the kids to 16/u where they belong please!

11.    The random move

Sometimes this is pulled off with artistic finesse, but often it’s just odd.  Everyone’s dancing along and suddenly one stops to do a leg mount.   Or pulls out of the group to do a random backflip.   It feels to me like Sally just mastered a new skill last week, so we need to put it in the new troupe dance.  Every move on stage should belong to the routine, not just pop out of nowhere.

12.   Music mashups

Not so bad if there is a theme…Michael Jackson medley, songs about the lollipops, or a 60’s tribute.  But just as I get grooving to a great old favourite, suddenly the music changes for no obvious reason to something completely different.  That’s just plain annoying.  Generally I’d much rather 3 mins of the same song, but if you have to change music, please make it flow.

(And while on the topic of music, if you aren’t good at cutting music, pay someone who is, please.  Oh, and finish the music off at the end neatly – not halfway through a verse.  Much appreciated, thanks.)

13.  Age inappropriate moves

But there was enough about that on the last blog entry so I'll leave it for the moment... :)

So – did I miss any of your favourite ‘annoying’ choreography elements?

How far is too far? Part 2...

I wrote this anonymous blog because I don’t feel there is a safe forum for parents to question or criticize the practice of dance schools.  I feel that any criticism I make might well have resulting negative effects on my studio or my child.  I have no intention of revealing my identity because I do not want my view to be in any represented as that of my studio, nor do I wish to receive any backlash from the parents or teachers at my dance studio (whom I include in some of my criticism).  But if my identity eventually becomes known I will not shy away from anything I’ve said. 

My comments on the particular routine which caused controversy mid Saturday are based on photos of the costumes (published on a public website by the studio in question), by all three adjudicator’s comments (published on a public website by the studio in question) and by comments made in conversations with people who were in the audience that day.  I admitted that I had not seen the actual dance for clarify, but still commented because that wasn’t relevant to the point I was making.

I think if you re-read my post you will realize that I’m actually saying that this particular costume appears to me to be relatively mild.  The comment on the choreography, for which I use the words ‘a little saucy’, suggests I’m saying it too, was relatively mild (which is not, apparently, how the judges’ saw it, nor some of the parents I heard talking about it).  From what I've seen I personally think it is too mature a look for a group of 12 year olds, but it’s not the worst out there by any stretch.  I think it’s worth making the point that even a very chaste costume can be made to be more adult by combining it with suggestive choreography.  Was this done in this case?  I don’t know, I didn’t see it.  The judges seemed to think so but then, as I speculated before, perhaps they just overreacted on this particular dance as a culmination of everything they had seen up to that point.

I also did not say that that particular routine included inappropriate lyrics, grinding or crotch grabbing, firstly because I didn’t see it, and secondly because those comments related to a different part of my post.

Do I think from what I’ve seen that this routine was the most age inappropriate routine of the weekend?  Absolutely not.

Do I think that this particular dance school’s other routines sometimes stray into what I consider to be age inappropriate choreography or costuming? Yes I do.

Are other schools guilty (in my view) of inappropriate costuming or choreography now or in the past? Definitely.

Do they do this on purpose – to shock, or to somehow corrupt their children?  No, I really don’t think so.  I think the kids are dancing with such advanced skills that we are choreographing to those skills and forgetting that they are still young children.  And in doing so we are changing our perceptions about what is normal for these children, and gradually the bar on what is acceptable rises.  Personally, I’d like that trend to stop and hopefully reverse it.

Is this can of worms that Cameron Mitchell opened on Saturday worthy of discussion?  Absolutely!  There is no doubt in my mind that I am not a lone voice, but I also believe that it is very difficult to speak up against such trends without being quickly dismissed or ridiculed.

Who should judge what is age appropriate?  Every single one of us, of course.  And of course our views will vary.  But in your reply you yourself have made that exact judgment about two other routines you have seen – probably readily identifiable by the studios or parents involved in those routines.  Do you believe they did that on purpose?  I mean, did they put something on the stage that you consider to be so obviously age inappropriate, knowing themselves that it was inappropriate?  Probably not.  They obviously hadn’t looked at it through your outside eyes.

If you had given them honest feedback, would they have taken the opportunity to examine themselves, think again, maybe at least consider altering the situation?  Or would they have dismissed the comments as ridiculous and uneducated.  I’d like to think they’d take your feedback on board, but I guess we’ll never know.

Three independent judges made those comments on Saturday.  Three judges with considerable experience in the dance world and paid to provide a judgment.  Regardless of whether you agree with them or not, surely they were owed the courtesy of at least considering whether – with outside eyes – there may be any substance whatsoever in their views?  The reaction from this studio was (and continues to be) extremely defensive and dismissive, and I think publishing, criticizing and ridiculing the judges’ comments (for days!) was far closer to slander than anything I’ve written in my humble blog.

I don’t think I’ve said anything that is either malicious or extreme, nor anything that doesn’t reflect the views of at least a significant minority of the dance community (I think it’s more than a minority but I won’t pretend to speak for everyone).

Referring to comments made elsewhere (not by you) - while I agree to some extent that having your child in a particular dance school suggests that you are happy with that dance school’s choices has merit but doesn’t quite hold.  We choose dance schools for a myriad of reasons from location to friendships to quality tuition and many more.  We have a lot invested and it is impossible to pull out of a routine of 30 kids at the last minute because you want to object to the choreography or the costume.  In fact we usually don’t see the choreography or costumes until they are well advanced in their design, and to be fair to studio directors, you can’t possibly run a dance school with a committee of parents commenting on every creative decision of the studio.  I think we have to trust that the people into whose care we entrust our children – schools and after school activities alike – will act responsibly, will look after the children's best interests and will be accountable if they do not.  But  I do not feel there is any accountability or even any voice for parents to object if we feel those standards are lapsing within the world of children’s dance.

Actually, I’ve often thought it would be wonderful if dance schools did anonymous feedback surveys now and then to ask their parents what they like/don’t like/could improve about their schools – and ask them whether they are happy with things like costuming.  I fill in forms like that when I go to the bank or the dentist or a hotel – I’ve never heard of a dance school seeking that kind of feedback but perhaps it would be educational if they did.

My question to those studios who push the limits is this – what value does it  add?  Can’t you be innovative, creative, challenging and spectacular without having to resort to small costumes and adult choreography?  I’d say, absolutely you can.  There are many examples of fantastic group routines from all ages that would meet anyone’s definition of modesty.  I’d like to see more of them.

I also absolutely know that there are some parents who have taken their children out of this dancing world, or have hesitated to join it, because of this very issue.  What a shame that those kids miss out on all this fun, and that the dance world potentially misses out on their talent, just because we can’t create a more welcoming environment for a slightly more conservative audience.

By the way, fanny flasher is a term I first heard from a cranky dancing dad about 3 years ago, I thought it was very representative and have used it often since.  I’ve heard it used by others.   I was not sitting behind you.

One commentator referred to the recent debate as hysteria.  That’s surely not referring to this blog because I don’t feel there has been any hysteria from me.  I’m trying to calmly argue a point of view.   It seems to me the hysteria is coming from those who are on the defensive, and it wasn’t even to those people that the majority of my comment was directed – but they are largely the ones who got this debate going.  It feels like I might have hit a nerve.  Surely if the judges’ comments had no merit, it would have been a more graceful approach to ignore them (or lodge protest with the eisteddfod organiser if they felt it was warranted).  Not to malign and ridicule them and anyone who agrees with them.

And finally, no, not a journalist or writer, although I appreciate the complement.  Just a mum who was trying to make people see things from another side.  Trying to highlight that not everyone is happy with the state of play.  Trying to support judges like Cameron Mitchell and his colleagues, who dare to comment on this issue and who, as far as I can tell, have remained silent despite being so publicly ridiculed for their views.  Trying to argue that the world of children’s dance should be about the children first, then the dance – that we choreograph to their age, and then incorporate their skills.

I didn’t ask for this topic to be raised, but now that it has been I've chosen to speak, and I certainly don't regret that.

How far is too far?

I was at the Australian Dance Challenge on the weekend. What a showcase of amazing talent, from little toddlers to young adults. The art of dance has come so far since I was a dance student in the 70s, and in fact it has come so far in the last 5 or so years since my own daughter has been involved in competition dancing. The standard is so high that I wonder just how far it can keep going. 8 year olds are doing complicated steps, acrobatics and choreography that was only being done by teenagers just a few years ago, and not at all a few years before that. These kids are achieving so much so young – every bit as good technically as some of the adult competitors on SYTYCD, or professional performers in the theatre circuit - it is simply amazing.

But even though they dance beyond their years, they are not grown ups. And as much as I am enthralled by the skill, for the last year or two I’ve been struggling to come to terms with the rapid sexualisation of our children in the arena of dance. Some routines are so adult in their orientation that I squirm in my seat and look away in embarrassment.

Costumes are getting ever smaller – nothing is left to the imagination. Knickers are so little that within a few seconds of the routine starting, the kids all have wedgies and we are treated to a revealing butt show, along with the bare midriffs and teeny tiny tops. The hair and makeup is looking more and more like the American pageant queens on Toddlers and Tiaras that most of us scorn. The music choices are inappropriate – with lyrics that I certainly hope the children don’t understand. The moves are suggestive and raunchy - grinding and gyrating, crotch grabbing, or the long held offside 'fanny flasher' mount which has me wondering where to look. Surely we can celebrate all this talent without turning our little girls into hookers and our little boys into leering gropers?

I don’t suggest the kids understand what they are doing – but they have been taught to move this way. We are normalising things that aren’t normal for young children, and along with the teachers, many parents seem immune to it, justifying it, encouraging it.  The barriers are being stretched so quickly…where will it stop? When will a troupe of 12 years appear on the stage with a pole for a prop, and begin gyrating, while someone stuffs dollar bills in their garters. Surely not, you say. No, you are right, surely not – I reckon it will be the 10 year olds!

Sadly any criticism is quickly dismissed as prudishness or a lack of understanding and appreciation of the art. Or as jealousy or sour grapes.  Judge Cameron Mitchell commented after the very first section of the comp that the costumes were perhaps too revealing, suggesting further that perhaps footless tights might be a nice option given that the judges were being offered a feast of crotches with very little consideration to modesty. The audience largely cheered, happy he said it out loud. But this sent off a flurry of derision – the judge is prudish and old fashioned – get with the times Cameron! Footless tights are from the 70s for goodness sake! The parents are just sheep for clapping your comments!

The flurry of controversy continued later in the day when one studio’s routine was critiqued by all three judges as being, perhaps, too sexy for the 12 year old age group. The leotards for the girls were, in retrospect, relatively tame…although they were skin-tight, black wetlook lycra and teamed with sophisticated hair and make up. The boys were shirtless (12 year old boys are lovely, honestly, but I don’t think they have chests that look particularly attractive bared on stage – a shirt works wonders). And the routine was apparently a little saucy (I’ll confess I didn’t see it). Now maybe this wasn’t the worst routine of the weekend in terms of pushing barriers, but maybe the judges just reached a point where they felt comment was warranted. The studio in question objected loudly, publicly, widely. But before dismissing the judges opinions completely, wasn’t it worth thinking for a moment about whether the comments had any merit?

The usual defence from those who dismiss criticism is that the costumes are no worse than bikinis worn at the beach. Well maybe so (although I wouldn’t agree to let my own child wear so brief a bikini on a public beach as some of these costumes). But the argument is ridiculous in my view - when they are at the beach they aren’t wearing Jon Bonet style makeup and hair, or gyrating on a stage.

I'm not suggesting they need to be covered top to toe. I'm not a religious conservative, or a moral campaigner. - I'm willing to go along with a bare midriff or long bare legs.  .  But boyleg shorts or a modesty skirt go a long way in preserving dignity!

What exactly are we hoping for our children’s future – Broadway, or Moulin Rouge? The Australian Ballet, or a cruise ship cabaret? Sydney Dance Company or a Kings Cross titty peepshow?

Many of us parents are in a bind. We don’t control the costumes chosen for these troupe competitions. Our kids work hard, gain widespread benefit from being involved in healthy competition, love the environment, the art, the friendships, the showmanship. It’s difficult to protest with the studio when you bring home your costume a few days before the comp, unwrap it, and realise you aren’t keen to see your child gyrate on stage in it. We certainly don’t want to punish our kids for something out of their control. So we quietly go along – we don’t rock the boat – it’s a bold move to change studios over an issue like this, and after all, the studio you go to might well do the same. So you reluctantly go along. When Cameron said out loud what many of us whisper to each other in the hallways, carparks and changerooms, many parents breathed a sigh of relief and/or clapped out loud – here was a member of officialdom pushing back on the trend – at last!

I find it hard to believe that we can’t stretch these kids into more difficult routines without moving them into older mentality as well. So many obviously creative studios – can’t we be creative within the confines of being reasonably covered, and dancing to songs that don’t talk directly about sex?

Few studios are completely immune from criticism, but some push the envelope way too far too often. And parents caught up in the moment sitting in the audience cheering every time the kids shimmy or thrust aren’t helping the situation. (And let me assure you, when you do that, a huge chunk of the parents are quietly cringing and silently urging you to shut up – even those from your own studio!).

This trend can be halted if parents start to push back without fear of critcism and accusations of prudishness or envy. If adjudicators take age appropriateness into account when judging routines. If studios listen to feedback and – instead of becoming defensive - ask themselves whether they might, in fact, have gone a bit too far in their enthusiasm. I'm putting the challenge out to studio directors - I'm positive you can achieve an equally impressive show of talent without using skimpy costumes or raunchy moves.  Any maybe you widen the circle of potential talent as those from more conservative backgrounds feel more comfortable in this environment.

Please - let’s celebrate all that skill in an equally creative but age appropriate way, and let them be children for just a little bit longer.