We Aren't Creating, But Let's Stop Enabling

Many of the comments on social media, blogs and news stories seem to show confusion about the issues at hand.

As far as I'm aware, there is no evidence to suggest that itty bitty costumes, adult choreography and make up on children create pedophiles.

We could dress our children naked on a stage and have them dance with a pole and it wouldn’t create any extra pedophiles, nor would it mean those children were asking to be violated any more than a woman wearing a short skirt or low cut blouse walking down the street is asking to be raped.  It's also true that women and children who wear clothing from top to toe are subjected to sexual assault and rape - so clearly clothing has little to do with the creation of sexual predators.

Nonetheless, in the wake of the arrest of Grant Davies of RGDance there has been a lot of focus on the costumes, style and choreography preferred by that studio, which is reasonably pervasive in some pockets of the dance industry.  It’s definitely the preferred style of some of the high profile dance schools in the US like Dance Precisions or the Abby Lee Dance Company of ‘Dance Moms’ fame.  It’s interesting that RG Dance not only chose similar styles but actually targeted those particular studios for workshops and collaboration.  Clearly they didn’t create the style but they certainly - obviously and unashamedly - admired and emulated it.

RGDance was obviously more than one person.  However, from an outsider observer viewpoint it seemed to me that Grant Davies set the marketing tone and general style.  As I point out in my last post I don’t think the style created the situation, but perhaps with the hindsight that these allegations provide, the style preferred by the studio reflected Grant’s personal preferences.

The more we see something the more normal it becomes, even if it is something initially that shocks us.  Every time a new boundary is pushed, there is initial resistance but soon after acceptance and there is then a ‘new normal’.  We see this in the (highly scripted, I suspect) Dance Moms TV show where the parents frequently complain that this time Abby has gone too far…but they don’t pull their student out or refuse to participate.  They meekly accept, the performance goes on, it may do well in competition simply because the technique is the best of the day, everyone breathes a sigh of relief that it’s over, but by then a new normal has been created.  The next new costume or routine is even more shocking and suddenly the one that shocked before doesn’t seem so bad.

This trend is pervasive throughout society right now.  Certainly not just in children's dance, but also in music videos, movies, games, TV shows, clothing stores, sports and especially advertising.  There is so much ‘noise’ that to be heard one needs to shock, push the boundaries, do something more than the last person.  The dance world – with it's well groomed children wearing make up and revealing costumes, dancing in provocative styles to adult lyrics – reflects and perhaps contributes to this progression to a hypersexualised childhood, and therefore not surprisingly is open to criticism.

What is the harm if we let this just continue unfettered?  I honestly do not believe it will create more pedophiles.  Presumably it creates more material for them to enjoy – something many of us don’t like to think about – but those pedophiles have plenty of material beyond the dance world to access 24/7 on the internet or even in the catalogues in the mailbox.  I believe the larger risk is that creates harm to us as a society.  There is plenty of evidence that the increasing sexualisation of children, objectification of women, and hypermasculinity in men is creating enormous social problems.  If you are interested in this topic there is a wealth of information – just google these terms and start reading.

The thing is, over time kids see all of this imagery and behaviour as normal.  And adults around them see it as normal.  And adults start to think that children actually have those characteristics they are portraying.  We start to forget that they don’t actually understand sexuality, they are play acting as they have been taught.  Our children soak up this culture day after day after day.  They learn through saturated media that it is a boy's role to dominate and a girl's role to please him sexually on demand.  Then when one of our sons asserts unwanted attention on one of our daughters who resist, there is confusion on both sides.  As adults we watch in disbelief when we watch news events like the Steubenville rape case, an event that was high profile but certainly not isolated in nature.  But why are we so shocked?

As a dance community we think it is ok to playact this stuff on a public stage in a suburban school hall to the encouragement and delight of an adult audience.   But if a dance teacher regularly asks a student to pose for photographs in small costumes or studio uniforms, to much public adoration, why would we expect that the same child would understand that his asking her to pose similarly but naked is a significant and inappropriate extra step? It's not a signficant extra step to the child, who is simply eager to please the adults around her.  No wonder our children get confused as to what is appropriate and what is not.

You may think I’m talking nonsense.  Fair enough.  I think there is a lot of evidence to support my assertions but you may disagree.  That’s ok.  But here’s the flip side.  Can someone please explain to me the advantage of smaller costumes and provocative choreography on children.  What benefit does it provide?  Why can they not achieve the same skills in a non-sexualised environment?  What harm does not sexualizing them cause?

I hypothesize that by creating common standards and best practices, similar to those that have been set in other arenas such as schools and swimming pools, on matters such as competition rules, sharing information on the internet, chaperones for tours, changing room policies, viewing windows into studios and so on, we might hinder the ability of potential predators to indulge their fantasies, because those fantasies would look out of place in this world, where increasingly right now they don’t. Let's not make it so easy for those who want to disrespect our children in this most hideous of ways.

And along the way, perhaps we create a healthier social environment for our children in this increasingly sexualised and objectified society.  A separate but equally worthwhile goal.

There certainly appears to be momentum to develop such industry guidelines, and I for one couldn't be happier about it.  I don't care who leads that charge as long as the process is open to all to provide input and discussion, and I'm grateful to those who have started the process.  I hope the momentum continues long after this news story leaves the headlines.

Grant Davies is not the first or last person to be accused of sexually abusing students in his care.  Sadly there are likely to be more just as there have been in other areas of life, such as sports, schools and churches.  But I'm hopeful there is the will now, as a community, to limit their opportunities and stop enabling, while simultaneously contributing more positively to society and our children's future wellbeing.  Surely our children deserve that we try.

Once Seen, It Cannot Be Unseen

The traffic on this humble and quiet blog has suddenly exploded in the wake of the arrest of Grant Davies of RG Dance.  I'm not surprised as the topics I discussed in a couple of my posts - the first one in particular - go to the heart of much of the discussion that has been happening in social media since the news broke on Saturday, and many people are scouring the internet looking for answers to what now seems like an obvious question - how can this have happened without anyone knowing, it seems so obvious.

Grant Davies is not yet convicted.  It is possible - like a few are still hoping - that he is not in fact guilty of the crimes laid at his door.  I don't have enough information personally to make that call so I will leave it to the courts to decide.  But his arrest has got many many people talking, and looking at everything that RGDance did and stood for.  Many of those people are from outside the dance community, seeing it all for the first time.  Others are from within the dance community and seeing it with fresh eyes.

And there is a lot to see.  Even after the RGDance website, Facebook page and other social media sites were disabled, this particular dance school had chosen to be extremely highly connected on the internet.  It was a specific tactic.  Their children were photographed like no others and those photos shared, cross-posted, tagged and shared again in every possible forum.  There were blog posts and emails and videos and books and TV shows and a lot of persistent marketing.  There were several websites under different names.  They wanted to make money, for sure.  To many of us the sales tactics came across like those of a snake oil fraudster, but lots of people - especially young girls - loved the hype of it all.  Certainly RGDance wanted to be seen and they wanted a fan base.  To make money or to get famous or for some other purpose that was the clear goal - to build a fan base. 

Many of us seeing those photos constantly, everywhere, without even trying very hard, found them difficult to look at with approval.  Lots of shots with crotches faced directly to camera, very little covering them. Legs hyperflexed so all the musculature and all other pubic structures were easy to discern. Often in a costume on a stage, but just as often in underwear or pyjamas, 'goofing' around the studio.  Anyone daring to comment 'I'm not sure it's appropriate to post that' was ignored or dismissed - obviously we are supposed to be looking at the skill and artistry, 'it's no worse than you would see on a beach', to see anything else just showed we were either prudes or dirty minded. 

Well lots of us did report those photos to Facebook or elsewhere as inappropriate.  I'm not sure Facebook ever did anything with that.  But guess what - there were people looking at those photos who were in fact dirty minded. There was evidence of it!  A couple of times I saw it come up in my newsfeed that men were befriending some of these children.  I thought that odd and went to look at their profiles, and lo and behold their pages were filled with dancer photos, along with photos of what can only be described as sexually provocative pictures of children.  I went on to report those individuals who were in fact blocked on FB (I'm sure they turned up again with new names a day later).  Occasionally a ripple would go through the dance community when someone was aware of a suspicious person befriending kids on Facebook, and suddenly everyone was outraged and concerned.  But the obvious steps - stop posting these kinds of photos, remove the kids from Facebook and Instagram - it seems these options were never considered much to the befuddlement of many.  Even in the wake of the weekend's events many of those pages are still active, all the photos still there, even when we know the whole world is scouring through them right now.

In the light of the last few days many people are speculating about this whole situation in a new light now.  There was a clear campaign for as many children as possible to have personal and fan pages on Facebook.  There was a clear campaign for the children - with the aid of their parents - to collect as many followers as possible.  The constant posting, re-posting and cross posting of photos encouraged more and more likes.  What was the true motive here in retrospect?  To make these children famous in the showbusiness industry?  That was certainly the public position, although it seems like a ridiculous way to achieve it to anyone doing any analysis.  To gather followers so that a pedophile could create a network of willing, young, impressionable, eager, 'stars-in-their-eyes' potential subjects?  That's starting to look like a real possibility.  Friends of friends received friendship requests from Grant.  My own daughter did, but she quickly chose to block.  How many others - very young children who should certainly not have been on Facebook in the first place - would be so excited to receive a friend request from this 'famous' dance guru who was the teacher of their idols?  I'm sure the tactic worked plenty.

And then workshops and concerts and appearances which were increasing in scope and frequency.  The travel made it all seem exciting and exotic to those dancers and their fans and fed the idea that they were, in fact, superstars.  To many in the Sydney dance scene we assumed RG had chosen to go further afield for their adoration because they weren't too much respected within Sydney - too many stories from ex-RG students floating around to have them be universally embraced here.  (The RG community no doubt dismissed this as sour grapes from competing schools).  Girls attending these workshops were encouraged to post their own photos as they worked on the tricks they had learned - and many duly and excitedly complied.  The adoration of abs began - more and more photos where girls were literally lifting their tops up to be photographed showing their abs, to much admiration (a trend that prompted my last blog post).  This of course encouraged their fans to start doing the same or at least trying to emulate.  To many eyes now this focus on thin helped to keep the girls looking young - pre-pubescent for as long as possible - and fragile.  A desirable trait in dancers possibly, but an even more desirable trait to a certain subset of the pedophile community.  More and more fodder for the dirty minded followers, incredibly dangerous for the young girls involved.

A young journalist captured with outside eyes what the concerts were actually for in an article written scarily just a few weeks before the arrest.  It was creepy before, it is truly creepy seen in retrospect.  It now seems the point of the concerts was to solicit likes on Facebook.  The kids were groomed to solicit.  And the parents - with stars in their eyes - completely enabled all this, excited about the opportunities their kids were getting to travel and perform.  Now, with the benefit of hindsight, we start to think that maybe this was in fact a tactic to increase that 'network' ultimately for the purpose of serving a pedophile's actual motive.  (If you haven't read the excellent article it's here (and I'm sure her traffic has increased a lot too!):  http://www.honisoit.com/2013/03/seymour/?fb_comment_id=fbc_547047605318489_6361552_569483166408266#

Many people have started commenting on and questioning the inappropriate choreography and costuming that has been pervading the dance scene in Australia, undoubtedly originating in Sydney.  Recently an eisteddfod in Queensland introduced very controversially tight new rules on this topic even though many thought it wasn't a problem in Queensland.  It seems the Sunshine Coast community felt that trends from the south were starting to head north and they wanted to take a stand against it.

If the trend started in Sydney many people are connecting that to RGDance and their relative dominance in the local dance community.  They are technically strong and certainly flashy - lots of impressive acrobatic tricks from strong, well groomed and thin girls.  They won lots of sections and often deserved to.  Consequently they had a position of power in setting trends and set them they did.  Gradually other schools started to copy or emulate in different ways, either getting caught up in the 'trend' or seeing it as the only way to 'compete'.  And again, criticism was dismissed - as well demonstrated in the events that led to my first blog.  I'm so glad the subject is coming up again and many are asking for change - if nothing else good comes of this tragedy that might be at least one small win.  Did the small costumes encourage pedophiles?  Well yes...suspicious men were caught on more than one occasion attending eisteddfods to enjoy the show.  But with fresh eyes I now suspect the small costumes that RG Dance were a reflection of the preferences of the co-owner of the studio - he dressed his kids how he liked to look at them.

Why were they so strong technically?  What was it about the teaching methods at RGDance that created such a stable of very thin, extremely flexible children?  Well partly they were selected for body type and skill - there is certainly evidence of poaching and the audition process could have removed any hopefuls that didn't fit the bill.  I'm starting to wonder if children were also selected based on their parent's willingness to join the fame seeking atmosphere of the studio.  There have been pervasive stories for many years about food diaries and fat shaming, strongly denied by RG many times and seen to be 'proven wrong' by regular photos of their kids sharing cakes, ice cream and other junk food for birthdays and other celebrations.  Still the stories persisted along with those of parents questioning things being ostracised overtly or subtley.  Although they were self proclaimed as dance technique gurus, others who are more qualified than I question their both their methods and their credentials.  Recent events certainly make you wonder about that.

There were so many things that have happened along the way that one can only look back at now and re-evaluate.  Grant Davies started a community page on Facebook called 'Dance Parents Connect' - ostensibly as a way to bring the dance community together.  How very noble of him, given the controversial nature of his school.  Within a day or so of that group starting, once a number of parents flocked to join it (and it wasn't obvious that Grant was the administrator), he start posing conversation starters such as 'how do you keep your dancing child's younger siblings busy during eisteddfods?'  Parents - easily identified as to name and studio - quickly responded, explaining how the little brother would play his Nintendo in the corner all day, or the young girls might play outside.  Friendly conversation, or information gathering for the pedophile community?  It looked wrong to me then, and I amongst others reported it.  It looks frightening in the light of new events.

There are so many angles to this story.  I don't know what really happened at RGDance.  I don't know who knew what or what their real motives were.  I suspect we will learn more as time goes on. I do know that many many people are hurting right now, especially the children and families involved and my heart is bleeding for them.  I know that many - often young children and teens - are feeling betrayed and let down by people they looked up to. I do know that many people are looking at the situation with new eyes and wondering how it could have happened.  We need to harness those critical thinking skills and remember to apply them every single day from now on.  We have to learn from this whole hideous episode.  We have to seize the moment and say as a community that we won't ever enable this again.  We have to question everything we see and the motives of people who tell us to do things we aren't comfortable about.  We have to recognise our gut feelings and report, report, report things that don't look right.  We can't let this happen again.