OK, since my last post I’ve changed my mind. I would much rather be responsible for dressing my own child than being presented with some of the costumes I’ve seen come out of concert season this year.
Of course, it’s no guarantee that my child won’t be asked to dance to inappropriate lyrics with inappropriate moves, but at least she will be dressed appropriate to her age.
Like my very first post that prompted creation of this blog, I ask myself – ‘what were they thinking!?!’
I know it’s not just me…there are other parents who aren’t happy. I know one parent who was shocked about her daughter’s costume given to her a couple of days before the event, and had discussions with other shocked parents outside the studios, but felt intimidated about how to approach the dance teacher with her concerns. Too late to change the costumes, unwilling to punish her daughter by pulling her out of the dance, reluctant to be seen as the ‘difficult’ parent. It’s not an easy situation, and I’ve seen it play out similarly several times over.
The kids aren’t necessarily happy either. I know kids who have been mortified seeing the costumes they have been given to wear. But again, they are powerless to complain. Kids, and especially young teenagers, are desperate to fit in and will usually just go with the flow – they certainly are not going to question the adults who are teaching and dressing them.
Of course, plenty of parents and kids do seem happy – proudly posting and re-posting photos on Facebook of their children or themselves seriously underdressed, in revealing poses. ‘How can that possibly be?’ I ask myself. Have they just become immune? Can’t they see it for what it is? And these same children then take their lessons to school, pulling up their skirts and flashing their sexy lacy bra-lets from under their white school shirts. Well, after all, once you been on stage in front of hundreds of adults in a teeny tiny spangled bra and low cut knickers (which surely required a bikini-wax before wearing), and danced with a seductive pout and a shaking of your booty – to the cheering and positive reinforcement of the crowd - it all becomes normal, even desirable.
And that influences how you dress for a birthday party. Or to go shopping. Or to go to school. I have definitely observed at social functions that those of my daughter’s friends who dance are more likely than their netball or soccer playing friends to wear high heels, low cut tops, short skirts. I hypothesise they are taking on board the encouragement they get to be ‘sexy’ well before their time, and their parents are not discouraging them.
I repeat from my first post – I’m not a prude. I’m not a religious conservative. I’m not picking on any one dance school. I’m just a shocked parent who feels powerless. I absolutely know I’m not alone. I know discussions are being held in dressing rooms, in waiting rooms, in corridors and on Facebook. But clearly not many of us feel comfortable bringing up the subject with our dance schools.
I can only hope to raise the topic for discussion, and perhaps prompt a costume designer here or there to reconsider, review and maybe, revise. And if my child were asked to wear something I felt had crossed the line, I think I would now speak up - writing this blog has made me braver. If you are a concerned parent, I hope reading it might make you braver too.
