How far is too far? Part 2...

I wrote this anonymous blog because I don’t feel there is a safe forum for parents to question or criticize the practice of dance schools.  I feel that any criticism I make might well have resulting negative effects on my studio or my child.  I have no intention of revealing my identity because I do not want my view to be in any represented as that of my studio, nor do I wish to receive any backlash from the parents or teachers at my dance studio (whom I include in some of my criticism).  But if my identity eventually becomes known I will not shy away from anything I’ve said. 

My comments on the particular routine which caused controversy mid Saturday are based on photos of the costumes (published on a public website by the studio in question), by all three adjudicator’s comments (published on a public website by the studio in question) and by comments made in conversations with people who were in the audience that day.  I admitted that I had not seen the actual dance for clarify, but still commented because that wasn’t relevant to the point I was making.

I think if you re-read my post you will realize that I’m actually saying that this particular costume appears to me to be relatively mild.  The comment on the choreography, for which I use the words ‘a little saucy’, suggests I’m saying it too, was relatively mild (which is not, apparently, how the judges’ saw it, nor some of the parents I heard talking about it).  From what I've seen I personally think it is too mature a look for a group of 12 year olds, but it’s not the worst out there by any stretch.  I think it’s worth making the point that even a very chaste costume can be made to be more adult by combining it with suggestive choreography.  Was this done in this case?  I don’t know, I didn’t see it.  The judges seemed to think so but then, as I speculated before, perhaps they just overreacted on this particular dance as a culmination of everything they had seen up to that point.

I also did not say that that particular routine included inappropriate lyrics, grinding or crotch grabbing, firstly because I didn’t see it, and secondly because those comments related to a different part of my post.

Do I think from what I’ve seen that this routine was the most age inappropriate routine of the weekend?  Absolutely not.

Do I think that this particular dance school’s other routines sometimes stray into what I consider to be age inappropriate choreography or costuming? Yes I do.

Are other schools guilty (in my view) of inappropriate costuming or choreography now or in the past? Definitely.

Do they do this on purpose – to shock, or to somehow corrupt their children?  No, I really don’t think so.  I think the kids are dancing with such advanced skills that we are choreographing to those skills and forgetting that they are still young children.  And in doing so we are changing our perceptions about what is normal for these children, and gradually the bar on what is acceptable rises.  Personally, I’d like that trend to stop and hopefully reverse it.

Is this can of worms that Cameron Mitchell opened on Saturday worthy of discussion?  Absolutely!  There is no doubt in my mind that I am not a lone voice, but I also believe that it is very difficult to speak up against such trends without being quickly dismissed or ridiculed.

Who should judge what is age appropriate?  Every single one of us, of course.  And of course our views will vary.  But in your reply you yourself have made that exact judgment about two other routines you have seen – probably readily identifiable by the studios or parents involved in those routines.  Do you believe they did that on purpose?  I mean, did they put something on the stage that you consider to be so obviously age inappropriate, knowing themselves that it was inappropriate?  Probably not.  They obviously hadn’t looked at it through your outside eyes.

If you had given them honest feedback, would they have taken the opportunity to examine themselves, think again, maybe at least consider altering the situation?  Or would they have dismissed the comments as ridiculous and uneducated.  I’d like to think they’d take your feedback on board, but I guess we’ll never know.

Three independent judges made those comments on Saturday.  Three judges with considerable experience in the dance world and paid to provide a judgment.  Regardless of whether you agree with them or not, surely they were owed the courtesy of at least considering whether – with outside eyes – there may be any substance whatsoever in their views?  The reaction from this studio was (and continues to be) extremely defensive and dismissive, and I think publishing, criticizing and ridiculing the judges’ comments (for days!) was far closer to slander than anything I’ve written in my humble blog.

I don’t think I’ve said anything that is either malicious or extreme, nor anything that doesn’t reflect the views of at least a significant minority of the dance community (I think it’s more than a minority but I won’t pretend to speak for everyone).

Referring to comments made elsewhere (not by you) - while I agree to some extent that having your child in a particular dance school suggests that you are happy with that dance school’s choices has merit but doesn’t quite hold.  We choose dance schools for a myriad of reasons from location to friendships to quality tuition and many more.  We have a lot invested and it is impossible to pull out of a routine of 30 kids at the last minute because you want to object to the choreography or the costume.  In fact we usually don’t see the choreography or costumes until they are well advanced in their design, and to be fair to studio directors, you can’t possibly run a dance school with a committee of parents commenting on every creative decision of the studio.  I think we have to trust that the people into whose care we entrust our children – schools and after school activities alike – will act responsibly, will look after the children's best interests and will be accountable if they do not.  But  I do not feel there is any accountability or even any voice for parents to object if we feel those standards are lapsing within the world of children’s dance.

Actually, I’ve often thought it would be wonderful if dance schools did anonymous feedback surveys now and then to ask their parents what they like/don’t like/could improve about their schools – and ask them whether they are happy with things like costuming.  I fill in forms like that when I go to the bank or the dentist or a hotel – I’ve never heard of a dance school seeking that kind of feedback but perhaps it would be educational if they did.

My question to those studios who push the limits is this – what value does it  add?  Can’t you be innovative, creative, challenging and spectacular without having to resort to small costumes and adult choreography?  I’d say, absolutely you can.  There are many examples of fantastic group routines from all ages that would meet anyone’s definition of modesty.  I’d like to see more of them.

I also absolutely know that there are some parents who have taken their children out of this dancing world, or have hesitated to join it, because of this very issue.  What a shame that those kids miss out on all this fun, and that the dance world potentially misses out on their talent, just because we can’t create a more welcoming environment for a slightly more conservative audience.

By the way, fanny flasher is a term I first heard from a cranky dancing dad about 3 years ago, I thought it was very representative and have used it often since.  I’ve heard it used by others.   I was not sitting behind you.

One commentator referred to the recent debate as hysteria.  That’s surely not referring to this blog because I don’t feel there has been any hysteria from me.  I’m trying to calmly argue a point of view.   It seems to me the hysteria is coming from those who are on the defensive, and it wasn’t even to those people that the majority of my comment was directed – but they are largely the ones who got this debate going.  It feels like I might have hit a nerve.  Surely if the judges’ comments had no merit, it would have been a more graceful approach to ignore them (or lodge protest with the eisteddfod organiser if they felt it was warranted).  Not to malign and ridicule them and anyone who agrees with them.

And finally, no, not a journalist or writer, although I appreciate the complement.  Just a mum who was trying to make people see things from another side.  Trying to highlight that not everyone is happy with the state of play.  Trying to support judges like Cameron Mitchell and his colleagues, who dare to comment on this issue and who, as far as I can tell, have remained silent despite being so publicly ridiculed for their views.  Trying to argue that the world of children’s dance should be about the children first, then the dance – that we choreograph to their age, and then incorporate their skills.

I didn’t ask for this topic to be raised, but now that it has been I've chosen to speak, and I certainly don't regret that.